Hate-Loss Challenge Update Week 4

Happy Thursday Everyone!  It is time for the fourth and final installment of the Hate-Loss Challenge that Ellen over at Fat Girl Wearing Thin has been hosting this month.  I would first of all like to give a huge thank you to Ellen for developing this idea and being the fearless leader who was so honest with all of us about her triumphs and struggles over the years.  It is amazing to me that she so willingly shares emotions and events in her life and has overcome so much to get where she is.  So, thank you Ellen.  You are amazing!

On that note I would like to tell you all what I have learned from this challenge and how I will try to incorprate these lessons and positivity into my life.  For starters, I would like to talk about the impact that being positive has had on my life.  I don't want to seem like I am little miss sunshine.  I certainly am not and I am also the first to admit that I am not always a Georgia peach :)  I will say though, that I think trying to be positive has helped me become the person that I am and has also helped me lose weight.

Truth be told one of my favorite movies is Pollyanna, the original with Hayley Mills.  It is no surprise that Pollyanna is in fact little miss sunshine.  I love that no matter how bad things were in her life she always found something to be glad about.  Yes, I know... life is not always glad this, glad that.  There are times that I am grumpy, irritable and possibly cantakerous.  However, I hope that when someone thinks of me they think I was generally a positive person with maybe a small dash or a sprinkle of occassional crabiness rather than a moody, difficult and negative person with a splash of joy. 

So, what is the point of this post?  I hope you're still reading.  Are you?  The point is that the hate-loss challenge has been a reminder to me to lose the hate.  That seems obvious, but seriously.  It is amazing what you CAN'T do and WON'T accomplish when you are stuck in rut, down on your luck and just plain negative.  Whether you are beating yourself up with "hate talk" or you are being short, negative or rude to others it doesn't really matter.  You aren't being productive.  You aren't accomplishing what you want to accomplish whether it is completing work, losing weight or any other daily task.  Chances are that you are dragging yourself and possibly others around you down with you.

If you really want to lose weight you must start with yourself first.  No one can make the choice for you to lose weight.  If you don't first try to make positive changes within it won't matter what you do on the outside.  Losing weight is about more than just watching what you eat.  It is also about what is eating at you and what you allow to bring you down.  The HL challenge has taught me that the most important thing in this journey of weight loss is me and how I approach this challenge.  Are there going to bad days?  Definitely.  Am I going to find things to dislike about myself along the way? Sure.  What matters the most is finding a way to keep going and to achieve a healthy body and life filled with positivity. 

Not everyone's level of positivity is the same.  Some people are highly positive while others are more subtle.  Find your level of positivity and live it. Do you want to be negative with a only splash of joy? Or, would you like to be positive with the tiniest pinch of occassional grumpiness?

Hate-Loss Challenge Update Week 3

Throughout this challenge I have spent time thinking about what I want to talk about the next week for my H-L update.  This week I posted about getting a compliment from a co-worker and how much that means to me and how it truly motivates me to keep going and helps me stay on track. 

I would like to think of myself as someone who gives out compliments when they are deserved.  I don't like to over compliment because then it may seem insincere.  I know that I compliment people I work with for doing a good job and my family and friends if they have done something well, such as getting into grad school or getting a promotion.

It used to be hard for me to compliment people who have lost weight.  More than likely this was because I was jealous.  If someone lost weight I would pretend like I hadn't noticed and if someone else complimented them in front of me I occasionally chimed in, but generally just continued on as if I hadn't noticed.  This is rude and shows that I was so insecure with myself and the fact that I couldn't lose weight that the jealousy of someone else losing weight the right way made me sick with envy.  It is a terrible, horrible thing that is hard for me to even say.  Why was it easy for me to say congrats on your engagement, but not say wow you look great, have you lost some weight? 

On that same note, when I was not actively being healthy or trying to lose weight I would not watch shows like (Biggest Loser, Celebrity Fit Club or anything relating to fitness).  I would turn weight loss commercials, I would change the radio station if a gym or weight loss commercial came on.  I was in denial.  I was in pure, disgusting denial of my situation and wanted no one and nothing to pull me out of it.  It is hard for me to even admit it or talk about it really.  It is such an embarrassing thing to know that you need to change, but ignoring all of the help that people offer you and all of the warning signs. 

So, now that I have laid it all out there, I am going to tell you what I have learned and how I plan to avoid this negative behavior in the future.  First of all, I am much better about complimenting people.  I will say that I think it is easier to compliment others if you are happy yourself.  I am happy with the direction my life is headed and thus I am more apt to notice positive things in other peolpe's lives as well. As far as the part about avoiding fitness and health related stuff, I am a lot better.  I am more aware of myself and my eating habits and I know the neccesity of losing weight.

I will be the first one to admit that I am still a work in progress.  It has only been a month since I looked at myself for the first time in probably 6 years in a full length mirror.  I don't have all of the answers and sometimes I can be too hard on myself.  I know what I need to do and for the first time in my life I can say proudly that I know I will do it.  I am working on starting the positive talk about my behaviors and actions and then eventually working towards being able to say positive things to myself and really mean it.  I want to be able to look at myself and be proud of how I look and what I have been able to accomplish.  I don't want to be in denial, jealous or full of envy.  I want to be realistic, satisfied and have good will.

Hate-Loss Challenge Update Week 2

The first step toward change is acceptance.  Once you accept yourself, you open the door to change.  That’s all you have to do.  Change is not something you do, it’s something you allow. ~Will Garcia; quote taken from The Everything Self-Esteem Book

I found this quote on Ellen's blog post today and I honestly read it like five times because it was so interesting to me and is something that I never really thought of.

When I first told my Mom that I had lost 19 pounds back in October and that I was committing myself to losing the weight for good this time she said, "I always knew that you had to decide that you wanted to change before you would be ready and willing to let yourself change."  This was very powerful to me. 

I have struggled with my weight for pretty much my entire life.  It has been something that I have struggled with personally, but also something that was often a topic of conversation with my mother and I.  She always thouhght that I should be thinner.  She would always come from a good place when she would tell me that I had gained weight but, I never saw it that way at the time.  My relationship with my mom is better when I am losing weight rather than gaining or mainting my heavy weight.  Although I don't agree with the way she handled every interaction or intervention about my weight, I know that she wanted the best for me and was looking out for my well-being.  I know now that when she said the comment to me in October about being open to change that she was right.  She said that there were many times recently that she wanted to talk to me about my weight creeping back up, but she knew that I had to make the decision on my own.

This quote above from Will Garcia resonated with me because it reminded me of my conversation with my mom and it also reminded me that it isn't enough to want to change soemthing like your weight.  You also have to allow yourself to change.  You have to be willing to say that you are allowing all of the things that come with losing weight into your life.  You have to allow mistakes.  You have to allow new eating habits.  Allowing change into my life is just one of the many things that I have learned on this journey. You must first accept yourself and then welcome change into your life with open arms.

Hate-Loss Challenege Thursday Update

It isn't neccesarily easy for me to shower myself with compliments.  I have a difficult time with finding positive things about myself sometimes, so I thought I would start out with making a list of 5 positive things about myself.  It is easier for me to do this than to just say i'm beautiful, i'm wonderful, etc.  My hope is that by the end of the month I can genuinely say some really powerful and positive things about myself.

1. I have a nice smile.
2. I like my legs.
3. I like my brown eyes.
4. I like my Irish freckles/skin.
5. I like my naturally curly wavy hair.

So there you have it.  5 things that are positive, 5 things that I can honestly say I like about myself.  I would love to add more things to that last and I would also love to be able to say even stronger statements and mean it.  It is not easy to see myself as gorgeous and beautiful when I feel like I could be so much better, so much thinner, but that is not what this is about.  This challenege is about embracing what you do have and how great you already are.  It makes no sense for me to dwell on things that I don't love, when there are plenty of great things about me.

How is the challenge going for everyone else?  Are people posting their sheets around so they can see positive thoughts around them?  I have my sheet by my bed and at my desk.  I am loving this challenge and am very happy to be participating!

I hope everyone has a positive Thursday.  Just remember that with most everything in life you get out of it what you put into it.  Make some positive, healthy changes and get more :)

Join the Hate-Loss Challenge!!

The wonderful Ellen over at Fat Girl Wearing Thin is hosting a challenge for the month of January called the Hate-Loss challenge.  I am proud to be participating in this event and I think you should check it out at her site and join in if you think that you need more positive encouragement in your life and less negative-nancy comments. 

Not sure if you're interested in joining?  Ask yourself this...

As I’m trying to lose or maintain my weight, do I often belittle myself in the process?  Do I beat myself up by using words like lazy, stupid, unattractive, failure?

If you said yes to this, then you should really consider joining us in the Hate-Loss Challenge during the month of January.  Head over to Ellen's blog Fat Girl Wearing Thin and get all of the information you need to participate.  I hope that you not only think about making weight-related changes in 2011, but also changes that will help your self-esteem!